I have come to the conclusion that I am one of the biggest--if not the biggest--idiot in the world. I turned my head and was blind to a lot of things that were looking me square in the face.
The things that happened occured because of my inability to look at things sensibly. Because I didn't want to. Because I couldn't. Admitting to everything would have just been too painful to deal with at the moment.
It doesn't make it any less painful now, but at least now I know that I need to have the strength to move on. Because it's not healthy to be in denial for such a long time. I need to stop lying to myself. I need everyone to stop lying to me.
I want to be mad about everything that has happened. But anger isn't the emotion that haunts me, it's sadness. I am just... sad. Totally and utterly disillusioned. And I have no one to blame but myself.
I should've known better.
I shouldn't have turned my head away from the obvious.
prev . nextdesign |
host
